Explosions of a Life

i just discovered a good tune lately.. while listening to yahoo launch radio.

actually, i think i like it (beautiful voice)

name of the track "i close my eyes" .. by "Shivaree"

.. I close my eyes
 So I 
 Can dream of ways to keep you occupied 
 So I 
 Can lock you up we'll keep it classified
 Alright
 You're mine tonight, son
 When I close my eyes ..

This picture is the perfect snapshot for my "heart"

Locked!

key?

                                                            Lost! Somewhere.. someone.. somehow has it!

you?

My life's quite empty. I've no friends, no lover. Only me, myself and I.
Let's talk 'bout LOVE first; a serious issue in my life (source of confusion, state of inferiority and land of weakness ...). 
Actually, I'm "obsessed", for the first time in my whole life, with my ex bf. I really don't know if one can call this love or it's that state when you get used to someone. I have to get him out of my head! He doesn't really give a damn 'bout me! According to the latest news I've heard, he's already found a new "victim". I have to admit, it's always been my fault. Most of my love relationships fail because of me. Geographical distance is mainly present, but this is manageable. One of my ex bfs, who I still have phone contact with, tried to analyze this continuous and extremely weird "echec". He said: "... every time you start falling for someone, you have to quit!”  He's right! but does this mean that I'm afraid of love? but wait, I don’t even believe it exists!

M.